You're sitting across from someone you've been messaging for weeks, and the first date has finally arrived. The initial vibe is great, but as the conversation flows, you find yourself grasping for topics. You want to keep things engaging, but the pressure to impress can lead to awkward silences. You’re not alone in this.

A lot of people struggle with knowing what to say on a first date. It's challenging to strike the right balance between being interesting and being yourself. You might wonder, “What if I run out of things to say?” or “How do I keep the conversation going?” The stakes feel high, and the last thing you want is to feel like you’re on a job interview.

So, what should you say on a first date to avoid those awkward moments? This article will walk you through practical conversation strategies that can make your next date feel more relaxed and enjoyable.

First, let’s introduce a helpful framework: the Date Timeline. Most of the success of a date is determined by three phases: Before, During, and Follow-Up. Planning for each of these phases can significantly enhance your dating experience. Think about what you want to discuss beforehand, how to keep the conversation flowing during the date, and how to follow up afterward to keep the momentum going.

Why do I feel nervous about what to say?

Nervousness often stems from the desire to make a good impression. You want to come across as engaging and interesting, and that pressure can lead to anxiety. This is especially true if you’re meeting someone you really like. To learn more about this, check out our guide on How to make a good first impression on a date.

The reality is that most people feel some level of nervousness before or during a first date. It’s not a reflection of your worth; it’s simply a part of the dating skill that many are still learning. To combat this, prepare a few topics or questions in advance that are easy to discuss. This gives you a safety net to fall back on.

What’s the most interesting place you’ve traveled to?
I went to Japan last year! The culture and food were incredible. How about you?
I’ve always wanted to go there! I recently went to Italy, which was amazing too.
This response works because it invites them to share their experience while also keeping the conversation flowing.

Think about what interests you and craft a couple of questions around those themes. Aim for open-ended questions that allow for deeper conversation. This is exactly the kind of scenario the practice mode in Dating Coach is built for—getting comfortable with conversation starters.

How can I keep the conversation interesting?

Keeping the conversation interesting is all about being genuinely curious about your date. A great way to do this is to ask follow-up questions based on their responses. This shows that you’re engaged and interested in what they have to say.

For example, if they mention a hobby, you might ask, “What got you into that?” or “What’s the best part about it?” These questions encourage them to elaborate, and they can lead to more topics to explore together. The goal is to create a natural flow, not to force topics just because you feel you should.

I’ve been getting into hiking lately.
That’s cool! What’s your favorite trail?
I love the one at the state park. The views are stunning!
This reply works because it builds on their interest and leads to a more personal connection through shared experiences.

Also, don’t shy away from sharing your own stories. Balance is key—offer your experiences in response to theirs, but avoid dominating the conversation. This interaction not only makes it interesting but also creates a sense of shared experience.

Before you read on — what topics do YOU think would keep a conversation going on a first date?

Take 10 seconds. Then compare with the example below.

What if there’s an awkward silence?

Awkward silences can feel like the end of the world in a date, but they don’t have to be. The first step is to relax and accept that it’s okay. Everyone has them from time to time. Instead of panicking, use it as an opportunity to pivot the conversation. You can say something like, “Let’s switch gears! What’s your favorite movie or show right now?”

Another tactic is to have a few light-hearted questions in your back pocket. These could be anything from “If you could have dinner with any three people, dead or alive, who would they be?” to “What’s the weirdest food you’ve ever tried?” Such questions can break the ice and lead to more engaging discussions.

For instance, if they seem stuck on a topic, try to redirect it gently. “This is interesting, but I’m curious—what do you do for fun outside of work?” Questions like these can help shift the focus and refresh the conversation. If you find yourself in a tough spot, learning how to recover from an awkward first date can be invaluable.

TRY THIS NOW

Practice your conversation skills by preparing topics and questions.

  1. Write down three topics you’re passionate about.
  2. Draft 2-3 open-ended questions for each topic.
  3. Try them out in a mock conversation with a friend.

How do I follow up after the date?

Following up is just as crucial as the date itself. A simple message thanking them for the date is a great way to keep the momentum going. For example, you might text, “I had a great time getting to know you! Would love to chat more this week.” This shows you’re interested without being overbearing.

When you follow up, refer to something specific from your date. If you talked about a shared interest or planned a future activity, mention it. This connection reinforces the bond you formed during the date and keeps the conversation fresh.

Thanks for a fun evening!
Absolutely! I really enjoyed our talk about traveling. Let’s plan that coffee soon!
Sounds great! I’m looking forward to it.
This response works because it references a shared experience, which strengthens the connection and sets the stage for future plans.

Keep in mind, the follow-up doesn’t have to be lengthy. A few thoughtful words can go a long way in showing your interest and willingness to continue the connection.

Now that you have a framework for what to say on a first date, you’re equipped to take on those initial conversations with confidence. You’ve got strategies for keeping the conversation flowing, handling awkward silences, and following up afterward. Practicing these skills can transform your dating experiences from nerve-wracking to enjoyable.

With these tools, you’ll not only navigate your next date more smoothly but also develop your conversational skills over time. Each interaction becomes an opportunity to learn and grow, leading to more meaningful connections in the future. For more ideas on what to discuss, check out our article on First date conversation topics. Also, learn how to be yourself on a first date to enhance your connection with potential partners. Additionally, discover how to be confident on a first date to further improve your dating experience. To improve your overall experience, learn how to have better first dates. Finally, make sure to understand how to end a first date well to leave a lasting impression.